Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
