STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just forgot I was standing up.
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