God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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