are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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