Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize