Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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