margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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