i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
