that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
