You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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