while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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