i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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