dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize