Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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