if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
