the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
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