I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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