i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
