Already got asked if we're dating
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
