im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
