He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
