only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
