real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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