Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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