WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
