Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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