please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
