Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
