i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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