If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
