What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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