Im at strip club and am horny
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
