So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize