your thong is hanging out like whoa
I checked into jail on foursquare
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will be naked everywhere
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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