theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
