There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize