Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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