He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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