hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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