Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize