What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
