i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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