S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
