he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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