I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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