that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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