Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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