yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
