Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
