i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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