Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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