and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
