so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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