wakey wakey hands off snakey
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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