i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
