But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
