I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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