The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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